A lit­tle tired this evening — I’ve been keep­ing my cur­few fairly well, though my fam­ily are in town, which makes it a lit­tle harder. This morn­ing, though, I woke up at 5:20 AM, and knew I wouldn’t be get­ting back to sleep, so I just got up and did my Morn­ing Pages and had a shower and went into work a lot ear­lier than nor­mal. Which was okay, but I’m feel­ing it now…

One thing I noticed dur­ing this evening’s med­i­ta­tion was that I drifted off into daydreaming/fantasy for the first few min­utes. I did try to pull myself back to real­ity, with some suc­cess. I then fig­ured I’d try to find the roots of the day­dream­ing, look­ing back into my child­hood, see­ing if I could fig­ure the rea­sons why I day­dream the day­dreams I do, which was interesting.

Though I’m not sure it really cleared any­thing up, answered any ques­tions, it did seem to help cen­tre me, and I felt calmed, and able to carry on with fol­low­ing my breath. I drifted again a lit­tle, just tired­ness, I think, so I opened my eyes and just was for a minute. Which was calm, and steady, and cen­tred, and I think another lit­tle glimpse of the progress I’ve been making.

And that was the ses­sion pretty much over.

Any­way. It’s 10:33 PM¹, and I’m going to pot­ter around away from the bright screen for the half-hour before bed, to see if that helps me drift off any more easily…

1. inci­den­tally, I’m not being really anal about writ­ing down times when I go all pre­cise like that; I’ve just got a key­board macro set up with Tex­tEx­pander to stick the cur­rent time into the doc­u­ment I’m writ­ing! [↩]